Ladies if you are desiring an eligible, sizzling, single man to call your own you may be in for a wait, with the growing number of Non-traditional families the term “single man” has been redefined in our generation. Most single men have already been bestowed with the gift of fatherhood, and it is definitely a game changer. Not to worry ladies, I got your back!
Here are 10 things to keep in mind when considering dating a man who carries the title of “Da” “Dad” “Daddy” or “Pappa” etc.
10. He may be looking for an escape from reality. Things may’ve become so dysfunctional on the home front, he is not necessarily seeking a real commitment with any woman outside of his child mother but simply a break from his present situation and the stress it carries. Beware of this one ladies, if d ting sweet, he may then profess he is in love with you both! Make certain you receive clarity on the status of their relationship and his intentions for you.
9. He is one step further away from the goal. If you are seeking marriage, settling down, family life, long term commitment, etc. as your ultimate goal, consider this man carefully. As difficult as it is to meet men ready to commit, the baby daddy may be all the more difficult to lock down. He has already been given the milk without having to buy the cow, and in terms of lifetime commitment he may not be as eager as the conventional single man to walk down the aisle and start a family. Look at it like this, he already has a family.
8. Drama Mamma. She, (de child muddah) might be real trouble, a manipulator, or just plain ole crazy! There may be staged late night phone calls announcing the baby sick, multiple trips to the courthouse for child support payments, and all type of drama. If you are not ready to be a ride or die chick and take on his burdens as your own you may need to go back to square one.
7. Prepare to downsize. Children are an expense. Period. Unless he is Diddy and can afford child support payments in excess of $40,000 USD per MONTH to an individual carrier of his offspring, then keep in mind his salary is restricted and accounted for prior to ever reaching his account. Also, some countries permit the salary of the spouse or common law wife to be a factor when determining the amount of maintenance the child should receive. Ask yourself if you can handle the financial responsibility and be prepared to fete on a budget.
6. Multiples. Take what you’ve learned from points 10-7 and multiply it by the number of children and their mothers. Sounds promising? I didn’t think so. If he has multiple baby mudders, RUN! One is enough to deal with but more than one potential headache still holding a flame for your beau , and causing trouble is too much melee.
5. A candidate for the Maury Show. Ladies, we’ve all heard it before, “I wasn’t in no relationship with she!” or “I only bull she one or two times and she tell me she pregnant!” and last but not least the infamous, “I am not that child faddah!” Do I really need to elaborate on this? This reeks of irresponsibility whichever way you examine it. If you stumble upon this particular individual, keep it moving.
4. That B*%@h! Take heed, although she (the baby momma) may very well be ‘hell on wheels’ pay close attention to his choice of words when referring to her. The fact of the matter is she is the mother of his child(ren) and deserves a certain level of respect. If he commonly refers to her as a female dog or any barn yard animal you may need to rethink your position. Regardless of her bad behavior or the situation he should not disrespect the mother of his children, and you should definitely consider if the roles were reversed. As a woman, put yourself in her shoes, what demeaning names would he label you?
3. Congratulations you’re a …Stepmother! Before you take the Nestea plunge, recognize he already has a child(ren) and you will likely be a Stepmother before long. If you are enjoying your childless status ask yourself this question, “Are you ready to co-parent or become a step parent?” If not, you will likely resent his children and “Daddy” status somewhere down the road.
2. ‘SHE’ will always be in the picture. Birthdays, holidays, christenings, graduations, etc. His baby momma will always be in the picture, a major part of his life and inevitably a part of yours so, if you are the jealous type or insecure about the relationship to begin with this may not be the situation for you. It will be an uphill struggle.
1. D occasional horn. Now understanding he will be in constant communication with his child(ren) and subsequently their mother the likelihood of the two taking a romp in the sheets is REAL whether or not she has moved on herself. Depending on how things ended between him and the mother of his child there may or may not be some residual feelings remaining, and given the right opportunity tensions can rise. If you know him well and he fits the description, more than likely he will take a dip in d ole ting every now and again. If you do not mind sharing him this should not be a problem, if not, make certain he is completely over her.
