The Beginning Of The Bacchanal

It all began last week, when Philly-born rapper Meek Mill took to Twitter to accuse Drake of not writing his own songs. He even stated that if he had known that Drake used ghost writers, he would have taken their collab song “R.I.C.O”, off of his latest album.
And apparently, not even a lil boy from the suburbs of the 6 taking that. So to retaliate, Drake released a song called “Charged Up”. However, Meek then returned to Twitter to give his own review of the Drake diss track. Meek Mill called it, “baby lotion soft”, and jabbed that even if he did write this song, that it was still weak.

But don’t think that Drake is the only one being clowned in this drama. In fact, after being accused of being “too emotional”, several comical tweets were sent out under the trend #MeekBeLike, mocking Meek for being so sensitive on social media.

The birth of Back to Back

Yet, it seems that despite Mill’s continuous attempts to lash out at Drake and call him out on his weak game, Drake has released yet another song aimed at his rival named Back to Back. And Mill, who is currently performing with his girlfriend Nicki Minaj on her Pink Print tour, seems to have given Drake enough material. In fact, in the song, he goes as far as questioning Mill, “Is that a world tour or your girl’s tour?” This diss goes along with several other jabs, including Drake boldly stating that Mill was being “bodied by a singing n***a.” Yikesssss!

So…#TeamDrake or #TeamMeek?

However, while it seems that so far Drake is winning when it comes to “who could throw more fruit at the tree with the best/ripest fruit”, perhaps Meek does have a point. In the rap/hip hop genre, originality is something that should not really be praised, but expected. The fact that ghost writing is something that can be argued about, or even discussed, goes to show that there is clearly a decline in the quality of music since the days of Tupac.
Drake, who is claimed to be one of the best in the industry, cannot rightfully be given such a position when, in fact, he may not even be writing his own lyrics. Whilst the supposed ghost-writer has denied any allegations that he has written songs for Drake, he has been given credit on Drake latest mixtape for co-writing. One of the things that makes someone a great artiste overall, comes from being a great lyricist.

On the other hand, there can be the argument of whether it truly matters who has written the music, once it is performed well. Some may agree that while Meek can boast of writing his own music, it doesn’t go much further from there. Drake, despite all the fight down, is more or less a strong musical artiste. Whether it be that he’s not a rapper, or more an R&B artist, he has been known how to sell his music and make a brand for himself. So perhaps, being a strong artiste is more than just having original lyrics.

So tell us what you think, which side of the debate are you on? And as for Meek Mill….well the ball is now in your court. Our guess? It’s either he’s finally working on that comeback song, or a reaaaaal fire tweet.
Stay tuned.

But wait, let’s backtrack a bit. Bland was pulled over by state trooper, Brian Encina, on July 10th for failing to use a signal before changing lanes (sounds familiar?). Bland, obviously vex, began to quarrel about how ridiculous she found the ticket was, Encina repeatedly screamed at her, ordering her to step out of the vehicle. As Bland refused to co-operate and continued to argue her case, Encina replied with “I’m going to drag you out of here,” and reportedly took out a taser and threatened, “I will light you up” ,before arresting her.

After her arrest, police stated that she continued to protest her arrest, whilst Bland complained of mistreatment from the police. Videos are even surfacing around the Internet of her arrest, where she clearly states that the police have slammed her head on the ground.

While her autopsy reports her death being due to self-inflicted asphyxiation, there are many suspicions surrounding this case. However, it is said that Bland had previously suffered from depression and had even attempted suicide before, and had even reported this upon arrival at the jail. So in that case, should she then not have been put on suicide watch? Instead of placing her in a cell, usually fit for four, alone?

On the other hand, she was said to be found hanging from the plastic from a garbage bag, which she tied to the partition of her shower. But….apparently garbage bags are not even allowed in the cells of inmates, neither did she have any lacerations consistent with a hanging. Thoughts?

Something isn’t adding up. What do you think? Is it just a plain case of negligence? Or do you sense foul play? When you dig into your inner Mariska Hargitay, comment and let us know what you think. But for now, from this view, it seems that being black is another thing that needs to be legalized in the US, apparently.

To give you further insight of the f*ckery, here’s a brief list of only a few of the remaining 28 demands:

• Power to refuse moderator.
• Wants questions placed in a guarded box at CNMG.
• Wants to be referred to as Prime Minister.
• Power to refuse panel.
• Power to approve backdrop of the debate 1 month in advance.
• Freedom to choose her attire.
• 2 preparation rooms.
• Debate must only be located in POS. (Like somebody wanna use dey helicopter boy)

Sounds pretty much like an Anal Annie to us. What do you think of these demands? Justified or not?

We would like to introduce you to the FL diva’s step-sister, Backline Brenda. Though we may not be as opulent, we still think we have lots to offer, including non-stop vybz. Now before you completely write-off being a Brenda, or steups when you realize your favorite FL costume has sold out, allow us to show you the pros of being a Backline Brenda.

Super Frontline or Super Broke?

No one ever complained about having a lil’ bit more change in their pocket. And in this case, the less you spend on your costume, the more yuh could spend on yuh glam! So go all out on those nails, make-up and extra accessories. Before you know it, you wouldn’t need a Frontline costume to look like a Frontline diva.

No extra back-age

If a Vodka and Redbull giving you all the wings that you’ll ever need come Monday and Tuesday, you would never have to worry about carrying around those big FL wings. Not only do they get heavy and annoying, but time you turn around twice you’ve probably already hit about 5 masqueraders in dey face too.

No pressure

Despite being told months in advance to start going to the gym, it is a month to carnival and you still find yourself sitting in your office, having 3 with slight for breakfast. But to be honest, if you’re a Brenda, does it really matter? With the increased level of skimpiness that we see with the FL these days, 9/10 times your body has to be ON in order to be a FL diva. However, us Brendas tend to have a bit more safety, and well, coverage, when it comes to our costumes. Now, we not saying yuh have to be sloppy, but we just saying you don’t have to have a Body by Imran either.

There’s definitely nothing wrong with being a Backline Brenda. The tale that Frontline divas have more fun has long been outlived and it’s about time that we all recognize this and embrace our true Backline majesty. So trade in those large headpieces and slip on your crown and go forth to rule the road like us Brendas were truly meant to.

Going through yuh phone

So yuh went to take yuh daily cleansing on the throne, and realize that you forget yuh phone on your bedside table. Since yuh know you not about to be on that ‘reading shampoo bottle and Bop spray can’ life, you gone back outside to get your phone. Onlyyyy to find your bird DOWN in your phone, and not only that, but she in the middle of emailing your WhatsApp chats to her account too! Padnaaaa, time to abort mission.

Hide yuh keys

Alyuh fall out in the party, but you telling yourself you not for any drama today. So of course you gone by yuh padnas and taking yuh wine and grind with a couple drinks in yuh hand! But now that party done, you feel yuh pocket for yuh keys and nowww remember who have it….you guessed it, Maddie. Gone by the car and realize that Maddie sit down in the car, hands crossed, waiting to light up your ears. Because guess what she’s holding hostage? YOUR KEYS. Good luck with that Chuck.

Her friends message you

If she is one of those where once y’all vex, everybody have to know y’all vex, you know she’s crazy. Sometimes it comes to the point where the marish and the parish is now all in your Whatsapp asking you “What yuh do she??” or accusing you of being some kind of @$$hole. Still find she too sweet?

Find yuh house

It has been proven by more than one fella that this has indeed happened before. Trust us, we too were shocked. Many a man have been sent the “I’m outside ” message, and before you get too excited, you remember….”wait, I ever give she my address??”. Beware fellas, it happens. Just for a precaution, next time you take that selfie, maybe give the location a rest.

She call yuh friends

Your bredrin calling you to warn you that yuh gyul looking for you. However, similar to above, you know you NEVER give your bredrin number to yuh bird. If this happens to you my friend, I would say it’s about time to kit up, and RUN.

Cried after a party

We see these at everyyyyyy party. Whether it be during, or after the party, they are always there. However, it’s always fun and games until you realize that nope, it isn’t just a random bird crying now, but it’s YOUR bird crying. The best part? You don’t even know why, or what you could have possibly done wrong. All we saying is, if you have a serial crier on your hands…this is just one of the many signs that she just may be a little…psycho.

QUEEN VEX

And finally, if you didn’t get the common denominator in the previous points, it always has something to do with having problems in the camp. If you and yuh gyul always vex, or correction, she always getting vex for sum, you know something is wrong in the head. But not to sound too biased on this point, there are always two options. Either, you, the fella, is rel sh*t. Or…well, you know. Just take a look at the title of this article.

The Stoooosh Smooch

This refers to the kiss on the cheek, except, yuh almost never actually give the kiss. So really, it’s just a cheek-to-cheek bounce. These are also known as the stoosh smooches because it usually requires little effort, and often, further conversation doesn’t need to be had after the smooch greeting. “Hi , *smooch*”, end of interaction. Plain, simple, and easy for the stushies to act like they actually acknowledge you.

The Loud Ups

Now these you can hear literally from a mile away. We mean, you will be on one side of the Harbour Master and soldier calling your name like he sallow a microphone. These hail outs, while at times can make you feel important, can make others feel quite embarrassed at the fact that now everyyyyone knows their name. Which victim are you?

The Beat Up

You were going for the hug…buuut they went of the kiss. Now you both look like two fish out of water, beating up on each other trying to figure out how to put an end to this initially simple hello. Here’s a tip, if you went for the hug and they went for the kiss, go ahead and keep your arms wrapped around them, eventually they will have to succumb to giving you a hug back.

The Ray Charles

You know those people who ‘didn’t’ see you, although yuh saw them stare at you dead in the pupils by the bar? Then all of a sudden, when you passing right in front of them, or in a space where they can no longer play the “I eh see yuh” card, is a big “Hello! How have you been? Oh my gaawwwsh I didn’t see you there nuh”….hm. #ByeFelicia

The Nod

Now these are more famous among the guys. They tend to love to give their little upward nod of the head, and occasional flick of the wrist in a way to say, “Wah going on?”. This is a more cooler way of telling someone hello, especially if they are some distance away. It is especially easy because, while it may sound a bit harsh in print, throw a little smile in with your head nod, and you’ve got yourself a quality greeting.

The Shoulda-Woulda-Couldas (aka The Delayed Hails)

Lastly, the famous delayed hails. They see you, you see them, you all see each other. Yuh know you wasn’t on all that scene ting to go and fight down any “hello” from anybody so you bat in yuh crease and relax. Only to go home and see is a “Hmm, so you doh know anybody” in your messages. These are called the shoulda-woulda-couldas, plainly because you could have said hello, but you didn’t. So don’t go around playing the blame game when you didn’t get the small talk you apparently so wanted.

Bmobile My Lime

What you used to be doing at 9pm back in the day? Well, if you’re like the rest of us, it sure as hell wasn’t sleeping like mummy and daddy thought! Adding 5 friends to your ‘Lime’ for free talk and text all night was probably the best ting since sliced bread. Back then, before Bmobile start with all its no service f_ckery, it facilitated many a ‘sweet talk’ with the lil boy/girlfriend you had…or even the juicy gossip sessions with yuh friends. And the next best thing about MyLime was, yuh friends were irreplaceable as f_ck! Sally jump out herself and get yuh vex? Send a text and in 24 hours Sally has been replaced by Janice quick quick.

MSN Messenger

Throwback to the times when 10 minutes before replying was a mandatory social rule, and you would sign in & out to get some attention from your crush. MSN was the place to be after school to keep up with all the social scenes or even for your occasional sh*t talk. But thank God this is a TBT, because yuh see ωяιтιηg уσυя ѕ¢яєєη ηαмє ℓιкє тнιѕ, straight down to the cantankerous Laughing Woman wink…I think we ALL needed an ease. *nudge*

Barrel mouth pants

Also known as Bell Bottoms, these type of pants coming with built-in air condition, fuss it have aeration! Lately, the only ones who can be seen sporting a Barrel Mouth jeans are either mommies or tanties. Otherwise, if you are seen wearing these unfashionable monstrosities, we cannot promise that you won’t end up in our next issue of Fashion F_ckups! Can anyone say, can’t touch this?

Ying clothes

Ever see a pants that made you wonder if it was a short, long-pants or a long, short-pants? Well welcome to the concept of ‘ying’. Ying pants were something schoolboys used to love to sport. Take their baggy khakis and have it tailored into balls-biting, ankle-grazing school pants. We guess before it was acceptable, but now, stop it with the ying clothes nah man. All you doing is looking like yuh machine home mash up and you had to borrow clothes from your baby cousin. And I’m sure you don’t want to be a victim of the “Yuh crossing river awa??” make out.

Disposable Kodak cameras

Before the selfie and the filters, there were disposable cameras. These were useful in the sense where it didn’t afford all those annoying girls the opportunity to say, “Omg ew I look disgusting, delete it and let’s take another one”. You snap, and however the picture take, it will develop JUST SO. These allowed for more candid pictures to be taken, but nowadays, with digital this and that, the definition of candid has changed from posed laughing pictures to posed ‘looking out into the distance’ photos….steups.

DVDs

Yessss man. Back when MovieZone was in its prime! Especially around SOE time. However, since the amazing discovery of online streaming, even cinemas are struggling to get the same business that they used to. No longer do we even think about DVDs, which we have to buy, when we can get the same sh_t quality with Chinese subtitles, and a man shadow walking across the screen, all for free. Now that DVD collection you once stacked proudly in your house, just serves as a massive dust collector.

Now, these videos have been said to have created awareness on the matter that you should not make immediate negative judgements about someone based on their appearance, and encourages confidence . However, shouldn’t the deeper message perhaps lead to that beauty is skin-deep? (As cliche as that sounds). I mean, yeah we should not judge a book by its ‘ugly’ cover or so you trying to say, but you argue that by just…making the cover better? Yuh eh making sense. Instead, it seems that these videos solely hold the purpose of already attractive people mocking others. For example, those with skin problems, glasses, and unibrows, just to name a few, and solely to highlight that they were, in fact, not beaten with an ugly stick.

As with everything that has gone viral, several videos have been made in response to this #dontjudgechallenge to emphasize why it is actually insulting and does not have the effect that it was supposedly meant to have. While some of these videos are truly entertaining, and QUITE the tief head (AH meaaaaaan), the only other thing we see from these videos besides a bunch of vain people, is that make-up truly is the devil!

What are your thoughts/opinions on this new trend? Let us know! Should we judge the don’t judge challenge?

Don’t be a Fahlcon

Fahling can occur in several different ways. Dipping in to a certain conversation that you clearly weren’t a part of, being out of timing in some manner, or simply inviting yourself to places out of the blue. In other words, doh be POOOSHY. If you just relax and be on a normal vibe, friends will come. There’s no need to be over-bearing like the neighbour plum tree jus to fight down no fren ting.

Go with the flow

Yeah, we’re talking to you Anal Annie. Everything doesn’t always to have a structure, or always have to be YOUR way. Be open to new things sometimes. The team is only as strong as its weakest link, and if you have sour vibes right thru, all you gonna be doing is souring the wholeee team vibes. So, please kindly take that stick out of your @$$, and just roll with the punches!

Poke me not

Just a tip, do not send pokes on Facebook….just don’t. This is a crime that no Facebook user should do. I’m sure Zuckerberg had the intention for pokes to be seen as cute, flirty or friendly. However, all it does is give a serious Bill Cosby vibe. If you met a potential friend over the weekend and trying to find a subtle way to start a conversation, jus send a harmless “aye, how are you?”. Because if you send a poke, your “Confirm request” could change into a “Not Now” real quick.

Grow some balls!

Small talk honestly isn’t that hard, and sometimes you have to put yourself out there. Us Trinis are generally friendly people when we want to be, and jus passing a friendly “Hey how are you?”, or a witty greeting can go a long way. People love an easy-going, funny person. So maybe when you next see an acquaintance, don’t be afraid to throw a lil ole talk their way! How else you expect to meet new people?

Have your own personality

Doh change yourself to fit the person/group you started associating with. No one likes a follow fashion. Just be original, be yuhself. If you find yourself not feeling comfortable around the new group/person, then it not worth establishing any kind of long-term friendship. Eventually yuh will mistakenly sneeze-fart in front of them, or need help zipping something near a place where nobody else should see. So bess yuh find  a group which fits your own personality, and you can only do that if you embrace and establish your own.

Bring an end to the clique

This mainly goes out to the ladies here. Yeah, we see you at every party and every event. Stand up in a circle with your matching cups filled with whatever ‘dranks’ y’all brought. However, this can be very intimidating, and at times, very annoying. If you are part of a clique, want to make new friends, but only go places with the entire pack, DOH COMPLAIN. The only way to branch out is to dip your toes in the pool lil bit and go out without the crew every once in a while.

The ‘Date Rape’ Drug

Also known as ‘roofies’, these are actually a wide range of drugs which all produce the same effect on its victim. Some effects include uncontrollable sleepiness, nausea, slurred speech and loss of consciousness/resistance, making victims easy targets for kidnappings or sexual assaults.

From listening to the countless lectures given by our mothers such as “Doh let nobody bring yuh a drink” or “Be careful tonight eh”, us girls always feel we know everything and often spit a reply like “Oh gosh I know, I know”. However, according to the video below, it is shocking just how easy it is to be roofied.

Quick tips to prevent being ‘roofied’

Although we may see it on television and may even sometimes steups at the naivety of the girls(“Hmm, dah could never be me nah!”). Locally, we think that frankly, not enough precaution is taken with regard to spiked drinks. Living in such a country where the crime rate is particularly not the lowest, caution must be taken, in every aspect. We cannot afford to slip. So these are some quick tips to avoid being that girl on television.

• Do not accept drinks from others, sometimes, even yuh friends. (We know, the free drink does be nice)
• Do not share drinks with anyone, think of it as more for you.
• Don’t drink from common beverage, like a fruit bunch bowl.
• If yuh feel like that Rum n Coke hitting you harder than usual, seek out help immediately.
• If you left your drink unattended, leave it right there.
• Make sure you are drinking around people you trust, and that you keep your hand over your drink.

Ladies, we can be seen as very vulnerable and thus are often targeted as the easiest prey. So, after watching the attached video, we hope that it opens your eyes, and makes you more aware the next time you takin’ a lime at Brooklyn Bar or Coco Lounge.