As many of you know , one incident changed everything. Changed the game, changed the mas, changed me and even changed the tone of this post, making it very different from the others. But there is something hysterical and telling about being in an ER two weeks before carnival with your first three questions being,

“When can I get back to work?”
“When can I drink?”
…and “Can I play mas?”

No wonder the doctor still doesn’t take me seriously lol

There’s something even more telling about the nurse smiling as she cuts the SCORCH band of your hand as you go into theatre, and something existential about counting backwards before surgery thinking about life in its fullest. There is something overwhelming about an unexpected outpouring of love and support when you didn’t even know anyone knew and something moving to have received love and inspiration from the most unlikely of places… #watermelon

Despite its shaky beginnings, this Carnival was NOT the worst, bad, or anywhere near dismal as I expected, but rather turned out to be one of the BEST in my life!

DEY COULD TRY, BUT DEY CYAH HOLD MEH DOWN!

Somewhere amidst the car wreck, broken wing, meds and flowers, the Carnival spirit fueled me in a different way than it had in the past. I was filled with strength, purpose and drive. I was determined to give my friends, family and masqueraders the same level of vibrations that they had sent to me. To make sure to see the monster that is TRIBE hit the road in its 11th year, And determined to experience ‘that feeling’ as I saw BLISS on the road for its 5th anniversary, with more Pomp than ever before! I was determined to be safe, but to play mas and to make sure that I didn’t hit the road looking like a patient LOL #SLINGBLING

And so I JOIN in the words of Bunji and say
“Turn de music loud, make sure yuh glass have beers!”
“Everybody raise your glasses with mine “
“Show meh yuh glass high! CHEERS!” as we Salute C2K15 in its highest !

CHEERS to you, for being some of the vibsiest revelers I’ve seen in years! De road looked good!
CHEERS to my fellow designers and the mas bands for making beautiful presentations and displaying our colours well,
And CHEERS to the artists for giving us that good ‘thumpa thumpa’ to keep it moving.
…from my heart to yours…

CHEERS to all those who sent their love, positivity and concern,
CHEERS to my TRIBE family for helping me in every way possible to make this ordeal easier,
CHEERS to my momma and friends for helping make my costume on carnival Saturday, shave my legs and get dressed for the road (Gurl! the struggle was real lol) ,
CHEERS to all of you for reading my ramblings from week to week and
CHEERS to SCORCH for allowing me to say thanks

Show meh yuh Glass high as we CHEERS to celebrating Life!
As we CHEERS to Change and randomness!
And as we CHEERS to keep pumpin no matter what may come our way!

The #RoadtoDeRoad for me was tough, and it continues but this carnival and YOU gave me a renewed perspective and VALidation for what I am sharing with you here today! Dey Cyah Keep We Down!

Look for meh in Jamishness! CHEERS!!

@instaval_tt (01/16/15): “Disaster has struck! I finally tripped over a b**** shoes in the club!”

We all grew up Hearing and loving the Classic Disney Tale of Cinderella. A Tale of Love, Glamour, Parties and Shoes coming off at the end of the Night. As fate would have it the stories of my youth have come to plague my adult life and so I ask, have the young ladies (and some men) of our generation been conditioned by this ‘harmless’ childhood tale? Anyone who knows me knows that one my personal pet peeves are the ‘Barefoot Contessas’ of the Clubs. Hunny, it is not a good look! #JesusTakeTheWheel. And as carnival draws near, a season that takes the yearly party vibe and puts it in overdrive, one where we leave the tempered flooring of the clubs for hard car parks and the road and one that pushes the fashion circuit into a frenzy with comfort lying dead for Couture, the Shoes are going to be coming off faster than we could say ‘PAHTEE DONE!’ #JesusTakeTheWholeDamnCar

After my unfortunate fall earlier this year, I realized it was time for me to pull out my Fairy God Mother Wand to save others from a similar fate this season. I mean, it is now a matter of public safety, right? #ArriveAlive. So listen here all you Cinderellas, cuz sh!t just got real! And as Ratchet is not the Pantone Colour of the season, here’s my short but friendly guide to you, FROM FETE TO FEET!

‘Pum-Pum Playground’ aka Cooler/Wet fetes

Ahhhhh yes, the cooler fete. The land where children run free and pum-pum shorts and slippers can mix safely without spontaneously combusting. Where mothers say a prayer when their daughters leave the house, and fathers shake their heads when their sons come home. These events are all about ‘waylay’ and comfort so go hard and live like yuh in yuh bedroom! Flats, flats and more flats! Now young ladies, this is NO excuse, outfit wise, to look like ‘WHORA the Explorer’. But once de pegs in place, yuh safe!

‘Big People Party’ aka the All Inclusive

Oohh, the Glamour! The excitement! The PORMP! An environment filled with excess and one where wedges flourish! All inclusives are the Galas of our season. The events that Demand attention, and Paparazzi Appeal Dress Up! Enjoy and like yuhself in d Champagne! These are definite heels and wedge events and most promoters provide flooring and plan their events in consideration of women’s shoes (e.g. a wedge-inclusive with Port-a-Floor, or a heel-inclusive with platforms and decks). Heels give so much more than height. They make you so statuesque and give confidence in a step that’s worth more than the Louboutins on my feet! Yes b!tch ‘my feet’…keep it moving. They give you #CalvesFromCalfLand and really do make an outfit. At the same time, BE REALISTIC in what you can walk in and buy accordingly.
Inner soles for some of these shoes can go a long way (Can I get an AMEN?) and so does a shot of puncheon every hour or so!

‘Beg-4-Comps Inclusives’ aka Bigger people party

The events where you have to ask yourself, “What’s worth more, the fete or food?” Comfort is couture road kill at these events. #WhatNameFlatShoes. These are the events where Spanks first and breathe after, where paint my face bitch till you can’t tell my real skin tone, where heels will take you to the moon and back! The events where a flat slipper would make you instantly out of place (Sigghhhh…*looks longingly into the computer Screen*).

and of Course…

On De road: The Biggest Foot wear Dilemma of them all!

Most of my time between November to the Road is spent discussing Boots with masqueraders and I must say I am a firm believer in WEDGES (*ducks for cover* AH SORRY!). I know they may not be the most comfortable to all, but to those who have figured out the delicate art of ‘double socksing’ or ‘Dr. Scholls-ing’, wedge boots can create pure Magic. I don’t know if it was my upbringing in HARTS or my obsession with Individual Mas, but I have seen wedge boots and the right foot wear turn a ‘Backline Betty’ into a SCORCH photographer’s dream!
FLAT BOOTS – work well of course but be sure to match the height of the boot with your body and legs. The wrong height boot can really throw off your proportions. The decision between slouchy boots and straight ones are also a question of body type and proportion.
BOOTIES – This is a hard one. They are a definite hit or miss and not many people can pull them off on the road. Apart from proportion, your costume and leg piece options must be considered here.
SNEAKERS – NO! *drops mike* #ByeFELICIA
HEELS – I love to see them! They are the ultimate in masquerader Glam! The ooze ferocity and scream HARTS section leader! Ladies…I have respect for those of you who can do it, because DAT is dedication! If you are going this route, however, plan ahead and have a concierge service or security that can hold a change of shoes for after the stage.

As with any finishing touch, it can either make or break you aesthetic and your carnival depending on comfort! So think smart and wisely especially on footwear. You wear the outfit, the outfit doesn’t wear you. Choose wisely and try NOT to trip me! Seriously…or I will cut a hoe! And for my CinderFellas out there, I see you…we live in a new age and men’s fashion is just as real as for the girls. So, break those shoes in before you hit the road (a lesson I have learned the hard way :/). Buy your size and consider comfort!

“Bippity Boppity Boo!” *Hits you with Fairy Wand!*

The months between launch and the road really is like entering Project Runway – challenge > craziness > runway! After costume choice, masqueraders slip into a fit of purchases seemingly feeling that every gaudy accessory in the world would just ‘ups and disappear’. Just the other day a masquerader called me in a frenzy saying that she bought ten pairs of earrings for her costume and now can’t choose which to wear…*Cough again*… In the wise words of Anya, “DIS IS MADNESS!”. Instead of turning your homes into a Rattans look alike with random accessories, makeup and glitter that you will not use, THINK SMART! Remember that Mas and Cosquel are two different things! Your costume is like an outfit and should be treated as such – An accessory could make or break it.

“Designers, you have 5 more minutes to design and sketch your plan of attack” (Tim Gunns’s Voice)

In this day and age where EVERYONE is an individual and VS Supermodel, the right approach to a costume could guarantee you a spot in that magazine and make you shine brighter than any Diamond Rhianna could sing about! “Find a place make a stage and MOVE!” Fayanne had the right idea – if you’re going to be in the same costume that 300 other people are wearing you need to know how to stand out! Thus, ladies and gentlemen, I introduce to you to the ABC’s of Mas: ‘Accessories’, ‘Boostamas’ and ‘Cosmetics and Curls’, aka the ‘Tun-Up Triangle’; the three elements that can make you look either TUN UP or TUN DOWN!

A

There is nothing worse than a man with a big tool who doesn’t know how to use it. In the same way, the Triangle is a tool to be used to our advantage. Before you even venture into Wonderful World, consider the Accessories (Options) that the designer has provided for the section. These have been designed for the costume and are often part of the original plan. Sometimes the inclusion of a simple collar can be all that a girl needs to shine. Moving on to phase 2 (aka wonderful world), take the same approach as a designer – look at your costume as a base, study the picture and assess where you think needs color, ‘filling out’ or sparkle, just as you would an outfit. Even though mas is about excess, do not overdo! A feathered earring is not a solution to everything.

B

Ladies, putting it simply, God has already done it for you. The two best accessories known to man are right below your neck and just above your stomach (Go ahead and check to make sure lol). Just keeping it real! Half of designers’ time goes into your Bosoms, how to make them stand and keep standing and shining throughout the day! Much to the dismay of many of my straight guy friends, I have had much experience and interaction with braziers and their inhabitants and my expert approach is quite simple. When you look at them, they must look like they are looking back at you (Like bright eyes 0_0). You pack enough Bounty into the bottom of that bra until the cleavage evens off with the bottom boning and you’d be surprised with the results. I call this ‘doing the TRIBE’; proudly turning B’s into C’s for ten years.

C

HAIR is to today what boots were to 5 years ago. Just as we rise to get makeup did at ungodly hours of the morning, pay heed to your head ladies and be-weave in the power of the stylist! Can I get an AMEN!? There is nothing more unattractive than a weave gone wrong after lunch! Choose a hair style that is good for you, your head piece and your costume. With all these tiaras that have trended costume showrooms these days, I strongly recommend making a hair appointment alongside that makeup so that your doo is as tight as that face! Recommendation to my hairstylist and makeup artists out there, TEAM UP in tha name of beauty! BEAT DAT FACE!!!! I need say nothing more on this, except again…BEATTT DATTT FACEEEEEE!!!! There is no excuse. Running behind the truck and away from tusty men on the road is a hard day’s work, and you want your face to keep up just as much as you and Johnnie are Walking. Make your appointment early with reliable, recommended and tested makeup artists. BE ON TIME! DO NOT miss your appointment! Realistically there are only so many hours before the truck horn blows and if you miss your spot, GURL BYE! Also, do not be afraid to ask questions on primers etc. In terms of style of makeup its purely up to you, but this should also be discussed with the artist beforehand to prevent ‘surprises’.

As ridiculous as this may sound, mas is like your wedding day. The Triangle and all the prep and prodding we do is to create a magical experience for you to enjoy. One of the things that I have always loved about Carnival is that it is an opportunity for a person to take on a different persona, stand out from the crowd, jump out of their shell, break away from the dogma of the mundane, put on a costume and bawl ‘LOOK AH REACH!’. I cannot end talking about accessories without mentioning the most effective one of all – confidence! There is absolutely nothing more attractive on a woman than that. It is our God given bronzer and highlight! It’s almost confusing to ask which comes first, the costume or the confidence? The chicken or the egg? In the end, the question shames in comparison to the result. The Jumbie that is MAS within us begins to veer its little head from July getting stronger and stronger with every week. Maybe it’s the spirit of mas that wakens something in us, an adrenalin or a madness (Admit it! Bitches be cray!) that dispels fears, quails inhibitions and opens the flood gates to love, laughter and lacaray. Prepare and be smart! And know that you are fierce and fabulous with or without the glitz! Remember the costume accessorizes you and not the other way around!

Hmmm, Where do I start?…

Four score and something years ago I came across a feathered pen and aged parchment and found my calling, a calling to relay my message and blah blah blah…SCCREEECCCHHH…BOOM. BANG. ENDLESS WUK!!! Sorry guys, I wish it were this poetic but it ain’t…

Hey Gurl Hey! I’m Val, Gyuol How! [Fagapedia - 'Nice to meet you./ How are you?'].

So, how did this all start? Over the years I have mastered the rigorous art of ‘Ole Talk’. It is one that I am very proud of and have spent my short life refining. This life skill works very well with my secondary profession of being a qualified Limer and Mas- enthusiast. I mean, if you’re out having a time, it makes sense to balance a scotch in one hand with a good ole talk in the other, right?

Through this, I’ve had the pleasure of enduring a painfully vybzie existence meeting many very interesting, beautiful, strange and some absolutely insane people that have brought colour to my life. I’ve also have had the pleasure of developing an interesting perspective that allows me to enjoy all that I do and experience; an interesting perspective that leads me to have thoughts on different things and view the world in the most intriguing way. For years people have told me that I should write, blog or tweet and now, well the time just seemed right.

After University I had the blessing of being able to follow my dreams by living life through my talents and having a ‘job’ that makes me happy (I believe firmly in this). I figured if I was going to write, best I write about something that I knew inside out and that would bring a smile to both myself and those who can’t run fast enough LOL – and since one can ONLY write so much about doubles- BOOM! ‘#VAL’ was born!!!

So there it is, my name is @instaval_tt (*cue self-advertising*) and I have a problem. Costume & Event designer and Consultant by profession. Entrepreneur by Curiosity. Tweeter by ‘Idle Fingers’. IG Whore by ‘IG WHOREDOM’. Now I’m a ‘SCORCH Rambler’ by… idk, lets just see where this goes.

In this column I hope to be able to share moments and topics with you to help your CarniVAL experience and so much more, for as we know, it can be a season of confusion, indecision and decisions!!! I tend to have the strangest experiences and conversations known to man and I hope that in imparting these that I shall ‘end world hunger and bring change and PEACE to the globe!!!’. Wellllllll, a bit ambitious, but you know what I mean.

As our conversations continue, I plan on bringing a ‘LOL’ to your day whilst talking about as much Mas Related stuff that comes to mind… until dey tell meh to ‘Wine and Hush!’. If nothing else, at least ah promise yuh d’ lime go be good! So, stay tuned folks, more to come

Cheers!