1.) THOU SHALL WEAR CLOTHES FOR THY BODYTYPE

First things first, you cyah be a size large and trying to fit into small swimwear. It’s just wrong. Wear something to flatter the body you already have not the dream body ya want.

2.) IF THOU TAKETH IT OFF THOU SHALT NOT BOTHER

What’s the point of wearing an article of clothing to the dance if you know 30 minutes into it your gonna take it off? Come na man..I mean, unless we have a guest performance by Nelly, try an keep it on nah.

3.)THOU SHALL DRESS FOR THE HARBOUR MASTER NOT THE CLUB

If it is an outdoors event, and we mean sun, sea, and RUM…why dress like yuh goin in AC? It don’t have no time for that, is pump! Cah be in the dance lookin like Maximus Dan, right?

4.) IF THOU CANNOT BUBBLE IN IT WHY WEAR IT?

We shouldn’t even have to explain that one na ..

5.) THOU SHALL ACCESSORIZE IN MODERATION

Confidence is the best accessory and a little goes a long way. Ya doh wanna be that girl in the party fixing herself every minute.

6.) THOU SHALL WEAR COLOUR

We mean, it’s summer time. Throw on some colour, mix it up! But we not telling yuh to go outside looking like a pack of skittles. So unless yuh offering a pot of gold, nobody trying to find the rainbow. At least not on you.

7.) THOU SHALL KNOW THYSELF

If yuh know yuh perspiration levels abnormal, WHY would you wear silk, rayon, or anything light colored? Word of advice, don’t do it to yaself..Red Flag.

8.)THOU SHALL NOT CAKE UP

Usually we outside in hot sun. Ladies dis one is for allyuh self. Minimal make up goes a long way. Try yuh best not to be the one who face rub off on every one you hug.

9.) THOU SHALL GROOM THYSELF

If yuh wearin’ one of these hot bikinis that are trending at the moment, ya bikini area should have a wax to match. Nothing further needs to be said.

So that pretty much sums up the mandatory guidelines to NEVER POP DOWN. Take in heed in the word of SCORCH and you shall prosper. Stay tuned and see alyuh soon!

Dreadlocks

This famous  trend  of  locking and twisting of the hair and in many cases an actual religious hair requirement will probably never fade, and whilst some of the good ones have bidded RIP to theirs and have pieces of it wrapped up in a plastic bag tucked away in a drawer at home. There are still the few endangered species that walk amongst us. We’ve seen you turn your locks into beautiful mane art, by crimping it, wearing it with updos and decorating it with beads. Rastas we love yall,  all of yall. But when you’ve finally appeared to have more forehead than locks then the time has come for you too to bid farewell to yours.

The High Top & Fade

Not sure if you want to keep that growth or if you want to have a fade and sculpt your scalp like the true artist that you were born to be? Then opt for the high top fade.  Grow out that hair to any length and you can then get super creative with the fade. We’ve seen many versions of this, (hightop mohawk fade et al) on many a different hair types and the looks are all dope.  We’re exempting the ones who overkill on the abstract art on their scalps from dopeness. Let’s keep the doodles for kindergarten and this trend right here would remain a keeper.

The Messy Fro

Possibly  the hair movement that gets the question “when yuh cutting it” the most. Because, let’s face it people aren’t exactly sure where you’re going with this, it just grows and grows. But, that’s the point, the hair grows out without actually ever having to have a visit by a comb …or a barber.. Just imagine, that annoying call you make ahead for your barber to give you a specific time to arrive and when you do, you still have to wait for hours, meanwhile your girl is steady textin you convinced that your barber time takes up quality time. Having a messy fro eliminates frequent salon trips, fights with your girl and ever having to look for a writing tool again, as it also transforms into your very own pen/pencil holder.

The Man Bun

Got a surplus of hair and not exactly sure what to do with it? In appears the man bun. It’s little to no maintenance and literally combines a ponytail and a hair knot. It can be grown to any desired length (once capable of actually being held together) and you can even get crazy with it and have the sides shaved and the rest go into a topknot. You may get a hate it or love it reaction from the general public but who cares? It’s your man bun, own it! And anyone who ridicules your man bun secretly wishes they can grow one too.

The Bald Head and Bearded

If you’re a baldie dude , most likely you’re already confident and would need something to spice up your bald look as to prevent yourself from looking too clean (yes there is such a thing). In our opinion, most bald guys look tons better when paired up with facial hair. So pop those hair pills, haul around that tiny comb and start growing and grooming that beard. Or perhaps, you already have a full on beard? Well, because your beard is so full of secrets it’s only right that you get candid with us at the top of your head. Pair it up with some mean dark shades and hat and you’re instantly the mysterious Heisenberg (Breaking Bad fans get with us), or just Rick Ross ..UHHHHH

The Pompadour Cut

Go from  0 to Pretty real quick with this edgy do. Maybe you’re a wildchild stuck in the 60s, or perhaps you would like to step your chic magnetism capability up. Either way, this style works on anyone with a face and hair that moves. If you don’t have moving hair, run to pennywise and buy yourself a relaxer.  Just keep in mind, this trend is particularly high maintance as it requires the back and sides of your hair to be trimmed pretty often to keep up with the look.  It also requires you to invest in a new wardrobe to match your new do. Preferably retro shirts  and eyewear, and maybe even a leather jacket and a motorcycle. You can go right ahead and keep your selfie instagram filters on ‘willow’ and ‘inkwell’ also………you’re welcome.

The Buzzcut

Not exactly bald, Don’t exactly have much hair either. This is a classic do and will always be the  hairstyle that most men revert to when they are done experimenting. Or just haven’t yet.  Or  maybe they work at the bank? It is probably the most acceptable style in history of male hairstyles and freshest of course. As you can diversify your buzzcut in many ways with a good shape up or lineup. Think rapper Drake and his oh so splendid part that splits deeper than the red sea that Moses parted. No weird stares, No disaproval letters from your manager at your office job, Nothing. So if you’re a borderline boring Barry or semi safe Simon, this will always be the hairtrend for you.