1.) THOU SHALL WEAR CLOTHES FOR THY BODYTYPE

First things first, you cyah be a size large and trying to fit into small swimwear. It’s just wrong. Wear something to flatter the body you already have not the dream body ya want.

2.) IF THOU TAKETH IT OFF THOU SHALT NOT BOTHER

What’s the point of wearing an article of clothing to the dance if you know 30 minutes into it your gonna take it off? Come na man..I mean, unless we have a guest performance by Nelly, try an keep it on nah.

3.)THOU SHALL DRESS FOR THE HARBOUR MASTER NOT THE CLUB

If it is an outdoors event, and we mean sun, sea, and RUM…why dress like yuh goin in AC? It don’t have no time for that, is pump! Cah be in the dance lookin like Maximus Dan, right?

4.) IF THOU CANNOT BUBBLE IN IT WHY WEAR IT?

We shouldn’t even have to explain that one na ..

5.) THOU SHALL ACCESSORIZE IN MODERATION

Confidence is the best accessory and a little goes a long way. Ya doh wanna be that girl in the party fixing herself every minute.

6.) THOU SHALL WEAR COLOUR

We mean, it’s summer time. Throw on some colour, mix it up! But we not telling yuh to go outside looking like a pack of skittles. So unless yuh offering a pot of gold, nobody trying to find the rainbow. At least not on you.

7.) THOU SHALL KNOW THYSELF

If yuh know yuh perspiration levels abnormal, WHY would you wear silk, rayon, or anything light colored? Word of advice, don’t do it to yaself..Red Flag.

8.)THOU SHALL NOT CAKE UP

Usually we outside in hot sun. Ladies dis one is for allyuh self. Minimal make up goes a long way. Try yuh best not to be the one who face rub off on every one you hug.

9.) THOU SHALL GROOM THYSELF

If yuh wearin’ one of these hot bikinis that are trending at the moment, ya bikini area should have a wax to match. Nothing further needs to be said.

So that pretty much sums up the mandatory guidelines to NEVER POP DOWN. Take in heed in the word of SCORCH and you shall prosper. Stay tuned and see alyuh soon!

The first exercise on this list is a beast and a killer, however, it requires no gym membership (eh hehhh). All you need is about 50 to 200 metres of a clear flat surface, preferably grass or the tarmac inside a stadium. (Asphalt can work too).
What I’m talking about ladies and gentlemen is sprints. This high intensity interval training pushes your body like it was meant to be pushed. The various hormonal and physiological changes that happens inside your body in response to sprinting, along with the sheer explosiveness of this exercise, builds muscle and burns unwanted fat. Just look at Richard Thompson or Kelly-Ann Baptiste, lean mean running machines. How to do it? Simple. Run as fast as you could for no greater than 200 metres. After which you should be breathing hard and bent over. Rest for a minute to a minute and a half and go again. Do this Five times.
*Those with knee problems should consider the negative long term effects of this.

The secound tip deals with what you put inside your body. And no… we’re not talking about condoms or illegal substances. We mean you are what you eat. Let food be thy medicine. While club hopping, partying, traveling, working, or schooling, it’s easy to just eat whatever’s available. Doing this over time as you age and your metabolism slows will lead to health disasters. To help keep you on track through all your knocking about remember this–
Limit excessive carb intake and balance it out with healthy fats. That all doubles diet is really going to double your waist line.
Include healthy fats like avacado, coconut oil , olive oil, palm oil and omega 3′s from fish and fish oil.
Stay far, far and mean far away from hydrogenated vegetable oil and all those other junk stuff that’s in almost every food you eat.
Get something green in yourself everyday. Please. Even if it’s a peace of lettuce on that burger you eat, or coleslaw instead of a biscuit at KFC. Ideally a big ass salad as one of your meals a day is best.

The last point for that Maracas Body this July/ August is to lift heavy. Both girls and boys. That myth of lifting heavy getting you too bulky and undefined is just that, a myth. In the gym you should be lifting heavy… and on COMPOUND movements. That is, movements that invole more than one muscle group working together to perform the exercise. Some of these movements include squats, pull-ups, barbell rows, bench press, deadlifts, etc. Notice no mention of bicep curls or tricep extensions, which are mainly isolated movements. And while they are good, they should supplement those main movements instead of being the focal point of your training session.

There you have it. Hope you learnt something new, or were reminded of something you knew already. These points are just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to getting in shape and being the best you possible.

From then ‘til now we’ve seen our friendly neighbourhood box ah dead grow to 55 outlets and become a cultural icon. This might seem like a bit of an exaggeration, but when you think about it, it really is. We negotiate with KFC – “Eh yuh see that $50 yuh owe meh from last week? Buy meh ah Dinner Special and we go call it even nah.” We give directions with KFC – “Ah living down Diego side. Take a right by KFC and then look for a green and blue house on the left.” We budget with KFC – “Hmmm ah could do with ah next drink eh, but ah better save meh last $40 so ah could buy a 3-piece after de party.” We reward ourselves with KFC – “Hear nah, yuh see all dis diet ah dieting for Carnival, is me and ah Mega Meal come Ash Wednesday.”

It is this deep, societal entrenchment that has allowed KFC to continue and prosper in spite of consistent price increases and its notoriously poor customer service. With the former being announced just last week, the latter issue has yet again come to light. There is no restaurant, or any commercial entity perhaps, that has a reputation for bad customer service like KFC. So much so that when you DO get the odd pleasant customer experience, you’re left stunned and often suspicious. ‘Wait, did that drive-thru worker just smile at me and say thanks? Something hadda be wrong with this chicken…” Good service at KFC is like an honest politician in Trinidad – after years of being scarred, it just seems too good to be true.

But Trinis, being the passive-aggressive people that we are, will inevitably excuse the price hikes and deplorable service with little to no protest. Yes, there will be the initial “Not me an dem again nah, I go fry meh own chicken at home” from the odd few, but when you drive past the nearest outlet on a Friday night, the line long like the one in the Passport Office. KFC is like that bad significant other who we know we deserve better than, but we just can’t help ourselves and keep going back to them. If KFC is Chris Brown we’re its Rihanna, and we love the way you fry.

But why does it have to be this way? Why must they never have change for a hundred? (“Yuh eh have nuttin smaller?”) Why must at least one thing in your order be unavailable? (“No corn, only fries and biscuits.”) Perhaps the rampant inefficiency is an intentional sales ploy – if they make you wait long enough in the line your initial order of a Snack Pack might turn into a Big Box Meal by the time you reach the cashier. Or maybe it’s not really KFC’s fault – with a typically high staff turnover they find it either impossible or impractical to train their employees where customer service is concerned.

At the end of the day the customer service problem goes well beyond KFC and permeates the entire local retail industry in general, but KFC, being perhaps the guiltiest offender, bears the brunt of criticism from the masses. However, the next time you go to order a Zinger combo and get a side of suck-teet and sour face, here’s some food for thought; we don’t depend on KFC, KFC depends on us. No matter how big or small a business is, they are nothing, nothing without the consumer. It is we, with our collective buying power, that turned that little pilot project in St. James 41 years ago into the multi-million dollar fast-food behemoth it is today.

Next order please…

Is about dam time….

Like true Trinis, we love a good bacchanal, so it was no surprise that we were over excited for Scandal Season 4 premiere. Not that our government doh provide enough Scandal but somehow we prefer to indulge in the work of Shonda Rhimes.

The episode got off to a steamy start as we see Jake, all up inside curly haired Olivia’s legs on a private island.

Upon receiving a letter with her wine shipment (Olivia is def bout that wine life) addressed to Julia Baker (Olivia’s alias), we quickly found out Harrison was dead, which causes Jake and Olivia to head back to D.C. to plan Harrison’s funeral since he has no family and was raised in a group home.

So where are the Associates? Where her peeps at?

1.Quinn was the one who actually found Olivia and was the last working “Associate”
2. Huck is now Randy, a tech man who ain’t got no time for Olivia and her BS.
3. Abby became White House Press Secretary.

The plot goes on to show Fitz, being a workaholic and revamping his Cabinet (Maybe Kamla could try the same) and Mellie being a drunk, hot mess since the death of their son.

However, Scandal got back to its roots and took a break from focusing on the exhausting love triangles as “THE FIXER” quickly got to work. I fell in love with Olivia all over again, as a sexual assault case was presented to her involving a prominent male senator, a female senator and a secretary. Olivia presented some awesome monologues on Sexual Assault and Women’s Rights that made all women take note.

Jake questioned Olivia about staying in D.C. and made it clear that he is ‘bigger’, can put it down way better than Fitz and allows her to be the true “rider” she is in the bedroom. *wipes sweat*

The season premiere winner for me though, would have to be Mellie, who made it known to Fitz in her Uggs and sweats, that she was done playing schupid about him and Olivia and is no longer shaving her vajayjay saying, its ‘like 1976 down there’.

Though drunk and grief stricken, this new Mellie ain’t playing. She also revealed that she was not as weak as Fitz since he attempted suicide. Yessir, you heard right, whether it be the death of his son, the disappearance of d’ horner woman or a combination of both, Fitz tried to kill himself.

All the Gladiator’s attended Harrison’s funeral to say goodbye to their friend, while throwing red rose petals in his grave. This helped Olivia remember that she is a Gladiator and not a bitch.

In the very last ten seconds of the episode, Fitz and Olivia see each other and pass so close…yet so far, almost touching each other’s fingers. That moment felt so powerful, as no words were exchanged but it was nothing short of emotion-filled and A-MA-ZINGGGGGG. Would this married man ‘n horner woman fiasco ever end?

Are your tracks running off beat and the mix sounds like a Bruce Lee fight scene? No worries, just smash that sync button and you are a star – Shine Bright Like Diamond!

Some DJs have struggled to cope with how easy it is to be a DJ now. You can see them in varying DJ blogs pouring out their souls about this. You have the Vinyl (8) Purists claiming that you are not a DJ if you never owned vinyl, played on vinyl or cannot play on a technics 1200 (9). We have Cd Combatants, who boast about juggling with cds and beat matching with headphones.

When that pissing contest is over. They start on DJs who only play on a software called Virtual Dj (VDJ). Note well, the industry standard deejaying program is called Serato Scratch Live. The catch with Serato Scratch Live is that, it requires specific and very costly hardware to run. So they ridicule the guys that do not have the money to purchase this hardware (players,mixers).

 
Some DJs have struggled to cope with how easy it is to be a DJ now. You can see them in varying DJ blogs pouring out their souls about this. You have the Vinyl (8) Purists claiming that you are not a DJ if you never owned vinyl, played on vinyl or cannot play on a technics 1200 (9). We have Cd Combatants, who boast about juggling with cds and beat matching with headphones.

When that pissing contest is over. They start on DJs who only play on a software called Virtual Dj (VDJ). Note well, the industry standard deejaying program is called Serato Scratch Live. The catch with Serato Scratch Live is that, it requires specific and very costly hardware to run. So they ridicule the guys that do not have the money to purchase this hardware (players,mixers).

Surely, inflated egos goes with the territory of deejaying since they are all struggling to one up each other. So much that, they lose sight of the mission.

THE MISSION IS TO CATER TO YOUR AUDIENCE!

Patrons in the audience do not care if you using sync, a vinyl record or cd (do you want a fig for that!)

All they want to know is if the dj can make them dance! Can you?

References
1) DVS
2) Tracktor
3) Serato
4) Virtual DJ
5) Wave forms
6) Beat matching
7) Sync Button
8) Vinyl
9) Technics 1200

So these are the things I’ve been really meaning to say to a couple well-known and not so well-known folks, who honestly need to sit down in a corner somewhere and shut the f*ck up. Seriously. They need to stop.

1. THAT DJ GUY, who insists that he needs to “call out” all the bisexual girls in the party. Ahm dude, we get that two girls going at it is a turn-on but you don’t need to call out the scene, you just sound thirsty and obsessed. You need to stop.

2. THE UBER TALKERS. You know that one girl or guy who doesn’t stop talking from the moment you guys meet up till the moment you grab for the shovel to hit them over the head? Come on chick, nobody cares about your ex three boyfriends ago, and come on dude we secretly roll our eyes every time you brood over the fact that she only wants to be friends. But seriously, nobody but your mamie cares. You need to stop.

3. IG SUPERSTARS. We get that you think you’re a ‘#handsome/#Sexy/#Hot’ #educated #greatsmile #islandloving #greatpersonality but 427 #selfie photos of your face seems a bit #much #overdo. You need to stop.

4. BITTER BIRDS. Yeah taking a horn is tough. And yeah taking 36 horn is probably worse. But you know what? I blame you! You keep picking loser men to take advantage of you, your car, your apartment and your bank account. You need to stop.

5. MILEY MEMES. We saw the awards show, the funny piece of skin hanging where Miley’s ass is supposed to be, the cringe-worthy tongue she kept sticking out, and the glazed popped-a-molly-far-away look in her eyes but the three thousand six hundred and twelve memes that keep circulating the interweb is just not that funny anymore. I stopped laughing around noon the day after the awards. Seriously. You need to stop.

The video was released on the 9th September 2013 (Ref 1) and has reached 115MM views on youtube and rising. With 24MM views coming in the first day alone. Surely, the song is not that great O_o , there must be more to this plot. The plot thickens as Miley promised her fans via Twitter that when the video reaches 150MM views, she would release the Director’s Cut. The director’s cut means that we will more than likely get to see Miley Cyrus fully NAKED!

Miley fully naked?…I’ll pass on that!

But what are the social implications of this publicity stunt?

Miley Cyrus rose to fame as the Disney Character, Hannah Montana. Hannah Montana has 10MM (Ref 2) fans on Facebook. Her target audience consist manly of teenaged girls and they no doubt comprise the 28MM (Ref 3) fans, she has as Miley Cyrus.

What impression is Miley Cyrus leaving for the girls who idolized her as Hannah Montana?

Is it a standard to be naked or to devalue oneself to gain acceptance?

How will they feel when they see social media, television and other print media glorifying her “toned” body and they look in the mirror and they don’t have that body shape?

I decided to dig a little deeper. I concluded that this was just another example of pop culture glorifying ridiculously skinny, unappealing girls as sexy!

Over 63MM women worldwide suffer with an eating disorder. (Ref 4) The main disorders being

1) Anorexia (immoderate food restriction and irrational fear of gaining weight) (Ref 5)
2) Bulimia (binge eating or purging typically by vomiting, taking laxatives, diuretics or weight loss stimulants). (Ref 6)

The Caribbean woman has not been spared by these new ideals. Slowly but surely these ideals have been trust upon young ladies all across the Caribbean

Long known for her voluptuous curves, small waist and considerable assets, she now benchmarks herself against the stick thin image portrayed by celebrities and high fashion. I personally have seen this phenomenon play out.

You have too!

Recall that girl/woman at the gym, perfectly healthy looking and toned working assiduously , going spin class and is mortified at the site of a slice of bread. She works so hard that she loses the butt, then hips and before you can say “Ah! she going to work on the muscle tone now!” she continues to slave away till she reaches her stick figure goal.

Scientist have coined this phenomenon as Body Dysmorphic Disease or BDD (Ref 7). BDD is a mental disease that predominantly affects women. These women are obsessed with their body image and its flaws. They even see flaws that are not there!

So take it from a man, be at peace with yourself

There is nothing more sexy than a woman, who is comfortable in her own skin.

God made us all beautifully different so that we could revel in each other’s uniqueness.
Men appreciate you in whatever size or shape you come in.

As my mom (Ref 8) always said, “EVERY BREAD HAS ITS BUTTER!”

Thoughts, comments, observations?

Where did the name Private Ryan come from?
Hypa Hoppa gave the name to me ‘cause at the time a lot of people were calling me to play and he said I was the ‘Number One Recruit.’ It eventually evolved into Private Ryan and it stuck.

How did you become a DJ?
I was DJing from about 8 years old. My father was into music and I used his record collection and always experimented with fusions. Professionally though I have been DJing from 16. That’s
when I first starting playing in the clubs.

Do you feel any pressure being known as the most versatile DJ?
Nope…. no pressure at all. I take risks and expose people to different music. It’s a lot of research and practice.

How often do you travel for gigs?
Right now, every weekend. I just got back from Grenada and before that Toronto, NY, ATL and the list goes on.

Have you been hearing any music for Crop Over and if so what is your favourite so far?
Last man standing, Hypasounds, misbehave and it early still.

Are you looking forward to coming back to Barbados for the Crop Over season?
Always…I love Barbados you know…love de vibes…good fusion between the natural vibe of Crop Over and the Trini invasion.

Where do you see yourself in the next five years?
The journey right now is undefined. Cliché answer I know. But see yourself grow

Do you have a girlfriend?
(With a smirk) No comment…

So single forever?
NO!

How do you handle the groupie situation?
(More smirks) Groupies will always exist in this business, how you deal with them is another story lol

How would you describe yourself?
Ambitious, no barriers to anything you put your mind to.

Tell us something about Private Ryan that people would not expect:
What do people expect? I really don’t know….can’t answer that one.

Many DJ’s go on to sing Soca, will we ever hear a Private Ryan song?
No but I will be producing. Learning to as we speak. Not a singer but I respect those who have done it and do it well. I know my limitations and I’m staying in my lane.

Game of Thrones?
Oh yeah, favourite show as well as Spartacus.

(The interview now comes to a halt as we discuss Game of Thrones for the next 20 minutes)

When Private Ryan is not working, what can we find him doing?
It’s usually quiet time, watching moves or just in a quiet space because I’m usually surrounded by noise. Definitely hang with friends and catch up because with all the travelling I need to find time to reconnect.

Is there a ritual before performing?
No rituals, but always in a zone where I am focused and aware of the people so I can tune in to their vibes and elevate it when I perform for them.

Where is your favourite place to play?
I don’t really have one. Everywhere presents a different challenge so I enjoy each place for different reasons.

What is your favourite genre of music?
From dancehall to jazz the beauty is the same. How I feel on a particular day but no real preference.

Do you have a secret recipe to get the crowd moving?
Play for them not yourself!

Any kids? Any plans to?
No and no.

Favourite food?
Chinese. (He says it’s Chinese but we feel it’s that delicious, cheesy Bajan macaroni pie)

Favourite soca artist?
That’s a real dangerous question you asking me there…. (silence) lol

PS3 or Xbox?
Definitely PS3.

Finish these sentences.
I absolutely hate…smelly people.

I absolutely love…my mother.

Music is…a reflection of life.

SCORCH is…pure vibes!

The breakfast club is the biggest morning show in NY. Sort of like JW and Blaze is to Trinidad.

Take in the interview here.

Part 2:

Part 3:

Part 4: