For many, going out does not equate to being drunk…However, for the rest of the wotless population, WE JINKIN WE JINKIN. In other words, we love we alcohol. But sometimes, our alcohol doesn’t quite love us back the way we love it, unfortunately. This can only result in either a downturn of events, or developing simultaneous alter egos. So here are just a few that we’ve noticed.

Lucy

We all have that one friend who’s quiet in the streets. But suddenly, after a couple drinks, she “does know how fi dweet”. Always on her worst behaviour from the time that liquor touches her soul, Lucy has vybz all night. Even when the party done and event looking spacey, you can still see Lucy going and screaming “Soca does give me meh powers!!”

Affectionate Drunk

Give them 2 White and Sprite and almost immediately they’ve turned into a member of the Cosby family. These drunks are generally harmless and very easy to find, mainly because they never leave your side. What’s their favorite line? “Ah love yuh dawg”.

Angry

These are tricky, because sometimes, you never know when you may have an angry drunk at hand. Everything will be running smoothly until a small mash of the toe or a spilled drink. Then, ’tis commonly the point where all hell breaks loose and everyone around is told to “ask dey mudda”. Doh be too vex with them in the morning though, because in all seriousness, they simply just don’t remember all the deeds that they’ve done.

Park ups

Of course we must include the ever famous park ups. Whether it be in the middle of a party or in yuh padna car, these beings are never afraid to spread their wings, and well….die, when necessary. Approximate time of park up, however, may vary according to the drunk.

Tusty drunk

And last, but probably the lowest and the least, we have the Tusty Drunk. There’s at least one in every crew, and if you don’t know who, then ’tis probably you my friend! If yuh constantly down in someone ears *cue Whisper song*, or even just moving like a human GPS behind a bam-bam…then yuh TUSTYYYYYYYY. But these specific drunkards, have evolved by gaining an adaptation to camouflage. This actually allows them to pop up out of nowhere, so guys….beware.