Either in the road, or in a party, we’ve all been hailed before. Whether we are the hailer or the hailee, it has become necessary at times to give a shoutout to our bredrins. While some of us are lazier to ever give a f_ck to call out our friends, others are more than excited on sight of their dear ones. Whichever you are, we are certain that you are familiar with all the different types of hail outs below.

The Stoooosh Smooch

This refers to the kiss on the cheek, except, yuh almost never actually give the kiss. So really, it’s just a cheek-to-cheek bounce. These are also known as the stoosh smooches because it usually requires little effort, and often, further conversation doesn’t need to be had after the smooch greeting. “Hi , *smooch*”, end of interaction. Plain, simple, and easy for the stushies to act like they actually acknowledge you.

The Loud Ups

Now these you can hear literally from a mile away. We mean, you will be on one side of the Harbour Master and soldier calling your name like he sallow a microphone. These hail outs, while at times can make you feel important, can make others feel quite embarrassed at the fact that now everyyyyone knows their name. Which victim are you?

The Beat Up

You were going for the hug…buuut they went of the kiss. Now you both look like two fish out of water, beating up on each other trying to figure out how to put an end to this initially simple hello. Here’s a tip, if you went for the hug and they went for the kiss, go ahead and keep your arms wrapped around them, eventually they will have to succumb to giving you a hug back.

The Ray Charles

You know those people who ‘didn’t’ see you, although yuh saw them stare at you dead in the pupils by the bar? Then all of a sudden, when you passing right in front of them, or in a space where they can no longer play the “I eh see yuh” card, is a big “Hello! How have you been? Oh my gaawwwsh I didn’t see you there nuh”….hm. #ByeFelicia

The Nod

Now these are more famous among the guys. They tend to love to give their little upward nod of the head, and occasional flick of the wrist in a way to say, “Wah going on?”. This is a more cooler way of telling someone hello, especially if they are some distance away. It is especially easy because, while it may sound a bit harsh in print, throw a little smile in with your head nod, and you’ve got yourself a quality greeting.

The Shoulda-Woulda-Couldas (aka The Delayed Hails)

Lastly, the famous delayed hails. They see you, you see them, you all see each other. Yuh know you wasn’t on all that scene ting to go and fight down any “hello” from anybody so you bat in yuh crease and relax. Only to go home and see is a “Hmm, so you doh know anybody” in your messages. These are called the shoulda-woulda-couldas, plainly because you could have said hello, but you didn’t. So don’t go around playing the blame game when you didn’t get the small talk you apparently so wanted.