Everybody knows about or has heard about that “Honeymoon Stage” every couple goes through when they now get together and everything seems like perfection. It’s an easily identifiable phenomenon with all its hand holding, lip locking and nose rubbing. However, after a little tenure, this tends to fade away into the darker ends of the relationship spectrum where only the strongest of couples make it out alive. Some, on the other hand, tend to find themselves stuck in these miserable ruts with no line of hope to pull themselves out with. It is here that everything seemingly goes sour and that once beautiful TV-esque couple starts to look more like a reality TV show (of the MTV persuasion). Naturally, most of these couples, knowing what they once had, attempt to dredge through these muddy waters despite just mostly spinning top in mud. So for those of you couples going through these hard times and just can’t seem to get back to your glory days, here’s some tips on how to know its time to simply call it quits.

• When they calling yuh and yuh have to ‘innie minnie mini mo’ if to answer (with the black bird from heaven and everything!).
• When 75% or more of your input in conversations consists of “word”, “scene”, “ok” or “mhmm”.
• When every night becomes Boys Night Out/Girls Night Out.
• When yuh sleeping back to back at least 3 nights outta de week.
• When yuh feel anybody who watch yuh in yuh eye too long automatically interested.
• When yuh catch yuhself singing IDFWU loud loud in the club.
• When yuh stop bring home doubles for them after you now stand up and eat about 10.
• When their voice starts to sound like the teacher from Charlie Brown.
• When yuh start letting them win every argument.
• When yuh does wanna get vex with them but go and have a nap instead.
• When yuh start thinking gramoxone is the answer.