Fellas, we know y’all. Despite all the warnings from friends, or even friends of friends, whenever you see a bess ting, sometimes you just can’t resist. So, in case you bypassed all the major warnings from those around you, SCORCH gives you some tell-tale signs for you to look out for yourself. So here’s when you know the bird you are currently tracking or f_ckin, is a bit cray cray.

Going through yuh phone

So yuh went to take yuh daily cleansing on the throne, and realize that you forget yuh phone on your bedside table. Since yuh know you not about to be on that ‘reading shampoo bottle and Bop spray can’ life, you gone back outside to get your phone. Onlyyyy to find your bird DOWN in your phone, and not only that, but she in the middle of emailing your WhatsApp chats to her account too! Padnaaaa, time to abort mission.

Hide yuh keys

Alyuh fall out in the party, but you telling yourself you not for any drama today. So of course you gone by yuh padnas and taking yuh wine and grind with a couple drinks in yuh hand! But now that party done, you feel yuh pocket for yuh keys and nowww remember who have it….you guessed it, Maddie. Gone by the car and realize that Maddie sit down in the car, hands crossed, waiting to light up your ears. Because guess what she’s holding hostage? YOUR KEYS. Good luck with that Chuck.

Her friends message you

If she is one of those where once y’all vex, everybody have to know y’all vex, you know she’s crazy. Sometimes it comes to the point where the marish and the parish is now all in your Whatsapp asking you “What yuh do she??” or accusing you of being some kind of @$$hole. Still find she too sweet?

Find yuh house

It has been proven by more than one fella that this has indeed happened before. Trust us, we too were shocked. Many a man have been sent the “I’m outside ” message, and before you get too excited, you remember….”wait, I ever give she my address??”. Beware fellas, it happens. Just for a precaution, next time you take that selfie, maybe give the location a rest.

She call yuh friends

Your bredrin calling you to warn you that yuh gyul looking for you. However, similar to above, you know you NEVER give your bredrin number to yuh bird. If this happens to you my friend, I would say it’s about time to kit up, and RUN.

Cried after a party

We see these at everyyyyyy party. Whether it be during, or after the party, they are always there. However, it’s always fun and games until you realize that nope, it isn’t just a random bird crying now, but it’s YOUR bird crying. The best part? You don’t even know why, or what you could have possibly done wrong. All we saying is, if you have a serial crier on your hands…this is just one of the many signs that she just may be a little…psycho.

QUEEN VEX

And finally, if you didn’t get the common denominator in the previous points, it always has something to do with having problems in the camp. If you and yuh gyul always vex, or correction, she always getting vex for sum, you know something is wrong in the head. But not to sound too biased on this point, there are always two options. Either, you, the fella, is rel sh*t. Or…well, you know. Just take a look at the title of this article.