The role of pipers in our society and how they differ from vagrants.

Firstly, a piper hustles and is always trapping, even if this hustling and trapping is done on the lowest rung of the hustle-trap scale. A piper is not as eat-his-own-shit crazy as a vagrant. Forget paying for a gym membership and buying all that whey protein and suppliments–Pipers are ripped AF, and can carry up to ten times their body weight on their heads and push/pull twenty times their body weight on a trolly or grocery cart–ROLLER BLADING.

Pipers are comedians and entertainers, especially when drunk or high: plus pipers are always drunk or high–except on Sundays. Pipers are expert escape artists and wall/ tree/ building/ barbwire fence climbers and can fit through spaces tighter than two fat girls in a swift. A piper’s immune system is 5X stronger than the average human being–Pipers don’t get sick, they just die. Pipers are impervious to being hit by big stones and glass bottles, but a rock of crack will bring them to their knees faster than Kamla’s concession speech. It is impossible to out run or catch a piper. Without pipers our drains, rivers and oceans would be overflowing with glass bottles. Pipers are expert car washers, yard cleaners and cobo catchers. They are also expert dog whisperers, specializing in Pothounds.

However, it is important to rember that a piper is just one missed shower, one missed meal, or one missed visit to the mad house away from being a vagrant.