From the beginning of time, there has always seemed to be an unexplainable zeal for sharing ones privates across whatever available medium at the time. However, with the introduction and rapid expansion of social media and mobile devices in today’s society, the naked art form has become agreeably a bit more tricky. With the wide varirty of platforms and their extensive functionalities, there is nothing stopping someone from instantaneously copying/saving and sharing an image you send them. Thus, the only way to protect yourself nowadays (for those of you who just simply enjoy this kind of vice lol) is plausible deniability. With that said, here are some useful tips in anonymizing your photos such that there is, or can be, some doubt that it is in fact your goods on display.
Taking the pic
No Face
Come on, peeps. This should be a no-brainer. I’m sure you’ve seen some poor girl or some unfortunate boy fall victim to a viral and easily identifiable nudie because they wanna be makin sexy faces at the camera. Learn vicariously and do not let that be you. If you simply must snap your unsnapables, have the good sense to shoot from the neck down.
No Background
So, you were smart enough to make sure yuh face not in the frame but yuh Cristiano poster and RMCF banners flying high in ya room and everybody know you is a big Real Madrid fan. Every experienced exhibitionist knows that taking pics in familiar backgrounds or areas that can quickly be related to you is a rookie mistake. So if you know your bedroom or bathroom is easy to recognise, you may want to consider a change of scenery.
No Distinguishing/Unique Marks
Some of you be thinking you slick n sh!t because you got just the perfect angle and background, making it impossible to trace this little indiscretion back to you. However, your “Thug Life” tattoo or that cute little heart-shaped birthmark that you love so much is on full display and you’ve already hit the send button with ‘no regrets’. Well, that’s another sure-fire way to be caught with your pants literally by your ankles. If you have any distinguishing marks such as birthmarks, tattoos, scars etc., extra caution should be exercised during those naughty moments.
Clear personal data
This may be a little advanced for some of you, but every digital photo taken has data attached to it hidden from plain sight. The technical term for it is EXIF tags. Data shown by these tags include:
- Manufacturer
- Device Make/Model
- Date taken
- Location
- …other technical information like focal length etc
You can’t deny taking the pic of your unmentionables if the GPS data places the pic smack in the middle of your neighborhood, on your street, at your house, in your room.
Solutions:
Sending the pic
Traditional Messaging
Traditional messaging includes the likes of Whatsapp, Text message, Facebook Messenger, etc. These all have a saved history that can be viewed later at any point. As such, they are not the safest or wisest platforms to use for your daily dirtiness.
Ephemeral Messaging
This is the transmission of multimedia messages that automatically disappear from the recipient’s screen after it has been viewed. This type of messaging includes the likes of Snapchat, Frankly, Wickr, etc.
Pros:
- Mobile apps that delete messages, including multimedia, after they have been seen or after a predefined period of time
Cons:
- Recipients can still screenshot messages and/or photos (even if the sender is notified)
- Pictures/videos of the recipient’s screen can be taken with another device without the sender knowing (eg. lurbz sex tape was a video of a video)
Best solution
Don’t _ucking send people nude pics you _ucking idiot.
