F*ckery
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She’s Too Young For You, Bro! (Trini Edition)

May 7, '15 by SCORCH Magazine
She too young fuh yuh

So yuh link up with a smallie. Nice. Young, fresh and green right?. But there is green and then there is tooooo green. Think bout that big mango yuh was eyeing on yuh tree that probably good for a lil chow and temporary yumminess. But, yuh can’t exactly sink yuh teeth in and experience the juices of its full potential. However, if yuh just give it ah lil time again, it go be ready for the pickin’. Same with some girls, they may be both chronologically and psychologically young. However, if yuh tired of runnin’ de route and looking to throw in de towel, this might not always be the right thing for you. So, if you’re having any problems deciphering just how young might be ‘too young’ for you, we got yuh covered. Here are a few red flags you can look out for when spending time with yuh smallie:

  • She don’t know about tearing the weekly cable guide out of Saturday Newspapers to know what was showing on tv.
  • These are the only meanings she is aware of for these two words:

    Base (noun)
    1. the bottom support of anything; that on which a thing stands or rests
    2. a fundamental principle or groundwork; foundation; basis

    Nuts (adjective)
    1. insane, crazy

  • Her first cooler fete EVER was Soaka.
  • She has never owned a pedal pusher or cargo pants in her life.
  • She never had to steal calls on the house phone before.
  • She doesn’t know that Machel Montano was part of a group called Xtatik (she too young to soca with you)
  • You have to spend more time trying to understand her WhatsApp messages than actually replying because she TyP3s LyK Di$. *lol smiley face*
  • To her, Bounty is just that paper-roll her mom uses to clean stuff with.
  • She doh have a clue “what it sounds like” to Chris Garcia.
  • She has never heard about the Silver Fox.
  • When you was graduating UWI she was starting ‘big school’.
  • She never went FunCity in Long Circular Mall.
  • She think Starlight is only for champagne bottles.
  • She never hold a beer by Corner Bar.
  • She doh know bout channels 2 & 13.
  • If she doesn’t know what a mealybug is…She too young fuh yuh!!!