“…And we would like to keep it that way!”

Both employer and (former) employee have refused to provide further details on the altercation but one eye-witness claims to have seen McGoldteet attack her supervisor with a drinking straw while another explained that this was in retaliation to her being threatened first with a plastic fork. Scorch has since learned that both parties are taking legal action with McGoldteet pressing charges for unfair dismissal and aggravated assault and the restaurant chain seeking damages for loss of property stemming from two centre breasts and a portion of fries which were destroyed in the
fracas.

When contacted for comment, Frederick Fingerlickin’, (Vice President, Corporate Communications) said he fully supported the disciplinary action taken against McGoldteet and saw it as a prime opportunity to reiterate their zero tolerance policy on good service. “This franchise was built on suck-teet and sour face and it’s strict adherence to these organizational principles that has allowed it to continue and prosper, even in these trying economic times” he said. “Thanking customers for their purchase and encouraging them to come again is simply inconsistent with our core values and goes entirely against our brand ethos.”