Two weeks into the shadow of Carnival and with Easter right around the corner, some of us still find ourselves making and breaking our Lenten promises to ourselves. Who swore they would stop doing this and start doing that, yet living the same life they living since 2012. So, for those of you who, despite your New Year resolutions, still living yuh life wrong, SCORCH has some suggestions of how you can still try to redeem yuhself this Lent.
Stop Eating Other People Box Lunch
In this Lenten season, try and be happy with what yuh have. Doh feel because a man food looking better than yours, yuh OBLIGATED to take a taste. Everybody might not get the same portion, but the Lord create all box lunch equal in his eyes. So leave other man food alone! Females, this goes for you too! If the fig is not yours, doh grab it!
Stop Peepin and Creepin
People business is not a stray pottong at the side of the road in need of a home. If the business is not yours, please don’t try to pick it up, take it home and mind it. Stick to what you know, and leave alone what you don’t. No need to be borrowing phones to creep locked profiles or playing the immature follow then unfollow game. There is nothing wrong with not knowing information that does not pertain to you. So, before yuh find yuhself red faced over another accidental double tap while in the depths of a macocious scroll, just DON’T DO IT!
Stop Put Yuh Life On Social Media
I’m sure we’re all familiar with those individuals who are infamous for bombarding us with their autobiography one post at a time, and I’m sure we’re all fed up of it. Journals and notebook selling cheap cheap cheap in Charran’s. So if yuh reading this and feeling some typa way, please visit a branch near you.
Keep Yuh Batty Quiet
Carnival just finish and you have, without a doubt, done everything yuh cudda possibly do under the blazing sun before yuh went with mammy to get yuh ashes like nice little boys and girls. As the dust has only just settled, there is surely no more bacchanal to be had for the while and for the first time for the year, the party actually appears to be done! As such, nothing wrong with yuh house for the while. Soak yuh hot foot and dem in a nice lil’ ice bath and just cool it for the Lent. Ah mean, is only 40 days.
Stop Play Ting
It might be Lent, but it’s also 2015. If yuh know yuh not in ting, swiftly giwwe the ease. As SCORCHers, we too big to be pretending to be something we not or on things we know we not doing. Know what yuh for and what yuh really bout and be true to yuhself. Playing ting in 2015 is the quickest shortcut to Embarrassment Lane.
Stop Skinning Yuh Cyat On D Grams
Yes ladies, this is all you! All you half naked, bikini scrunching, booty popping, thong wearing while kiss blowing thirst trappers, just COOL IT. Keep yuh kitty in the cage and melons in their basket. _uck what the rappers say, DON’T do it for the gram. Keep it for yuh man! For the men who’s wanna be on posting dah nakedness too, you should know better…shame on you.
Stop Breeding People Gyul Chiren
Please, please, please people…We begging allyuh. If there’s one thing on this list we advise you adhere to, make it this one! We understand that sometimes that the nanz just too sweet, but please stop soaking in the people and dem gyul chile! The 2.5 seconds (yes, we have it down to a science) not worth it. We not even asking allyuh to fast from the bump and grind, just please be responsible.
