No matter how many strides and advancements we make as a society, there seems to be some things people will always struggle to understand; like how to find X or where their money gone every month. However, in Trinidad, amongst conundrums such as how to correctly pronounce the word ‘film’ or knowing where dem woman does come from daddy, there are a number of things that we never quite seem to grasp when it comes to the nations roads. Here are but a common few:

Changing lanes

Well by now we should know Mr. No Indicator Nelson. He has been trolling our highways and main roads for as long as we can remember, and can be often seen moving through lanes as if he threading a needle. His driving is usually met with hollers for indicators and the ever so popular, “Buh wah de _uck…” However, even after all that pace and Mad Max driving, he usually still ends up at the same traffic light as you.

Crossing the road

Jaywalkers are rampant in T&T. From waiting till the cars finally get the green to just strolling in the street like they have a license plate, Trinis generally have terrible crossing etiquette. Let’s not even start about the manner in which they cross, because if you ever drive by the Promenade, particularly closer to KFC Independence Square, yuh would see for yourself that the “ah go walk like ah in meh livin’ room” crossers are rampant.

How a roundabout works

I really doh know if it’s just that circles confuse us or yuh does get dizzy just turning the wheel, but people just can’t seem to stay in dey lane! For a country who has the world’s largest roundabout, we also seem to have the world’s largest population of EDIATS! Maybe this point will come up again in what Trinis need to leave behind in 2015..

Fast vs Slow Lane

Yuh now eat 2 doubles with heavy pepper and chase it with a hot Supligen because das all the doubles man had. Now yuh gunnin’ it home in the right lane for sure because the porcelain throne calling! But nah, padna man in front driving at a steady 30km/h. Nah mannnn!!! BAT IN YUH CREASE. People, as much as there is a reason for having a fast lane, it is the same for having a slow lane. If yuh know yuh driving Ms. Daisy, chook left nah.

TXTing & DRVing

I know yuh must be feelin’ that da Whatsapp message from Saucy Shauna too important to ignore, especially because yuh know she does coas’ if yuh doh reply after 2 minutes. But yuh cannot text and drive. Yuh never watch dem ads on TV? Trinidad already have too much road fatalities, try and not be another statistic nah.

Stopping in the road to pick up somebody

This is a crime more famously committed by our public transit drivers. From the time they see a passenger at the side of the road, they make it their duty to stop at anytime, anywhere. Causin’ traffic? Yuh feel den care? But aye, at least we can’t be too vex, this is probably the best form of customer service we may have in Trinidad.

Parking f_ckery!

Yuh swing in Long Circular Mall because you hadda pick up a gift for Father’s Day quick, quick. Of course by now the ground floor pack, so you going up through the levels to hopefully find a park. “Eh heh? Das a park I seein’ there?” Only to reach and realize that this damn, big, obzoki Range Rover park like he savin’ a spot for he bredrin, blockin’ up two damn spots. Come nah man, if yuh buy yuh license, try and at least keep it a secret nah.

Traffic Lights

In Trini, it has come to my attention that traffic lights are something of an enigma to us. Where Red means ‘go when no police around’, Yellow means ‘speed up before ah get catch by a red’, and Green means ‘Fast & Furious’. But not like we could totally blame people, we know alyuh only study for dem regs 30mins before the test.